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If your spouse went back to the affair the second time, it seemed to have much more power over them than in the beginning.
By the time you broke your silence, things had evolved to an almost impossible situation.
The night she told her husband her plans, the emotion was so intense that soon she was in a deep sleep. The real cause of her deep slumber was the depth of her emotional state.
Nevertheless, he spent the rest of the night praying over her sleeping body.
Finally, you made the discovery that your spouse did have someone else. Maybe you checked the cell phone bill, read emails, found a note or letter in a pocket or purse, or, even worse, someone saw them and told you about it. Secrecy helped them, not you, but because you thought there might be a chance to keep him or her calm and possibly stop this nightmare, you allowed yourself to be manipulated.